Where is life taking me now…

2018 has  been one of the most challenging and life changing years of my entire life. It’s been a process of totally and utterly unravelling and a very careful and conscious rebuilding. And trust me, at 51 years old that’s really saying something.

 

I’ve lost and I’ve gained in huge and overwhelming proportions. But I made it. Even though I there were times I thought I couldn’t carry on with the burden and all the pain.

 

This year has created a new Me rising from deep inside to embrace all of my weirdness and creative interests.

 

I’ve learned so much…

Control was never mine and loosening my grip on life has not been easy. But I’ve learned to let so much go and to  breathe in the good things. To allow these things to teach me and feed me -because they will.

I’ve spent way too much time living in my head. I was a slave to my own vision of my future and not fully committing to living it, rather just dreaming it because it was safer and easier to dream.

I’m no longer worrying about other people’s opinion of me, how to keep their attention, how to appear more appealing, hoping for their validation. I’ve gone through the pain of unraveling to reveal ME.

I was completely drained by my past and all the painful memories it holds.

I was pulled and drawn into technology multiple times every hour of the day. Phone screens, tv screens, pc screen constant distractions.

I’ve learned to appreciate each and every moment and allow myself to lean in to the sensory experience of the simplest things.

To be present and engaged to fully feel a place while I’m actually in it could be just what I’ve needed all along. To live slowly and more consciously with the seasons and nature.

To devote the precious time to the people I’m sharing moments with. Because these moments create the whole living experience I’m here to participate in and life is passing by rapidly and fiercely.

 

Remember, You are the owner of your life. And Your life deserves to be lived your way.

 

All the loving vibes.

Elaine x

 

 

Breathe, Darling. This is just a chapter. Its not your whole story.

Boy oh boy this statement is SO very true. But SO very tricky to apply and refer to during those dark and challenging times. And what use would it be anyway? Hearing someone say those words of wisdom when you’re suffering and enduring emotional pain and turmoil is the last thing you really need to hear. Its of zero help.

 

We all experience times in our lives when a situation becomes so challenging that everything narrows down, the walls start to close in and the darkness drops all around us. It’s absolutely terrifying to be in this space. The endless darkness of that moment will seem to go on forever; no light, no hope, no love. The darkest hour is always before the dawn and there are no phrases or ‘one line’ pearls of wisdom that can help you through this space.

Yes you’ll cry.

Yes, you’ll struggle.

Yes, you’ll feel angry, afraid, alone and lost.

You’ve got to allow those emotions to have their place in your life and flow in and out with grace.

 

TAKE HEART. Because you’re a real person, with real feelings and real experiences to match. You wont always know your way. You wont always be healthy. You wont always be youthful. You will succeed and you will fail. You will cry and you will laugh. You will love and you will lose. You’re here to live life to its fullest and experience the whole spectrum -and that includes the good, the bad, the ugly and the lovely. Everything is temporary -don’t ever forget that. And with every experience you weather and survive, life has caused you to grow and become more than you were.  Now thats the most effing magnificent thing about this whole life experience. With each passing day, experience and breath, you quite literally become more.

 

In time when you look back you’ll see you journeyed through all that pain. You survived. You dug deep inside and brought your own light to the darkness. You set yourself free.

Now, take a breath and look at all that power you gained from being your own rescue squad -because no one else is better equipped or more capable than You.

 

And remember, you’ll be able to look back with ease one day and say ‘Breathe Darling, it was just a chapter, it wasn’t my whole story’.

x